we have officially lost it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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