Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Its about making memories worth repressing
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
