Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you win again, gameday.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
