OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize