I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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