Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
