so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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