I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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