your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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