i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
