I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
