She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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