Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize