I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
