You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm really into asian looking animals
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
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