i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
