Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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