My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
