All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
