Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
