I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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