We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
