you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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