I wish I could teleport
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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