he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
