It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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