i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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