I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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