She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize