I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
