My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
