There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
