We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
