What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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