If i come over, it means nothing
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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