I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
