i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
