Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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