But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
