When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize