There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
