So drunk its hurt
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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