If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
