I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
