shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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