Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
