apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A+ Viking dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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