I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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