I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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