Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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