At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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