Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize