I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
