Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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