I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
