My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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