Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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