At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
