You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
