I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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