Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
