did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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