so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
