He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
